Aussies Turn Poisonous Toad Massacre Into a Party

March 29, 2009

(ChattahBox)—A somewhat wacky story out of Queensland, Australia today; hundreds of poisonous cane toad revelers from five towns, gathered in a celebratory hunting and massacring of thousands of poisonous cane toads, in a first of its kind event, called “Toad Day Out.” Billed as a family occasion, set in a carnival like atmosphere, complete with grilled sausage sandwiches, soft drinks (probably lots of beer), and prizes; hundreds of residents set out at night to capture the hated toads.

The rules of engagement stated the toads must be turned in alive and in good condition, for the hunters to receive any prizes. The captured enemy toads were then put to death for their heinous crimes, including spreading disease, and producing toxic venom from their skin glands.

This mass toad carnage hearkens back to the hilarious and award winning Simpson’s episode entitled, “Whacking Day,” where the citizens of Springfield enthusiastically celebrated “Whacking Day” by forcing hundreds of snakes into town and then beat them to a bloody pulp.

Once the poisonous toads were turned into committee officials, they were weighed, measured and “humanely euthanized,” by either freezing them and making toad Popsicles, or suffocating them in a plastic bag, pumped with carbon dioxide. Participants who bagged the largest, ugliest, smallest and so on, received assorted prizes and a trophy made out of a dead a cane toad. How lovely! The organizers of the event said the kids had a great time.

Local farmers have long lamented the poisonous cane toads, ever since they were introduced into Queensland from South America in 1935, in an attempt to control beetles on sugarcane plantations. The toads didn’t kill any beetles, but instead bred rapidly, threatening local species and eating everything in their sight. They also spread salmonella and other diseases. Their poison is only harmful to human beings if swallowed.

The massacred toads were turned into fertilizer for the Sugar Cane farmers who despise them so fervently. Other toad corpses went to taxidermists to be fashioned into cane toad decor.

Leave it to the Aussies to come up with toad killing as an excuse to have a party. Oi! Oi! Oi!”

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