The Republican Love Affair with Stupid
October 11, 2010
(ChattahBox Op/Ed News) – It’s spring time in Paris. It’s Bogey and Bacall. It’s Joni loves Chachi. Yes, the Republicans are in love. This is not a secret love that has yet to be declared. No, this is a love affair that is open and blossoming. Unfortunately for them and America, Republicans are in love with Stupid. For years we watched from afar while they flirted and exchanged notes in class. They fidgeted and stammered while talking to Stupid until one day they finally summoned enough courage to ask Stupid out for a date. This big moment gave us eight years of George Bush.
I’m certain the GOP flirted and was smitten with Stupid in the past but this was the first instance in recent times, they said to the rest of us, “We don’t care what you think, he’s stupid and we love him!”. And why wouldn’t they? He possessed everything they love about a candidate. He was white, rich, pedigreed and most of all Stupid. Now, if you don’t believe that Bush wasn’t the perfect date for the GOP let me remind you of just a few of his many quotes which illustrates his GOP desirability; “You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test.” -Townsend, Tenn., Feb. 21, 2001, “Do you have blacks, too?” –to Brazilian President Cardoso, Washington, D.C., Nov. 8, 2001 or my personal favorite, “Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren’t able to practice their love with women all across this country.” –Poplar Bluff, Mo., Sept. 6, 2004. These quotes must’ve made the GOP giddy. While the GOP swooned the rest of us cringed. Some of us no doubt took this love affair in stride until GW said this, You know, one of the hardest parts of my job is to connect Iraq to the war on terror.” –interview with CBS News’ Katie Couric, Sept. 6, 2006. What’s wrong with loving Stupid? This love affair led us into a tragic war in Iraq which in 2006, GW was still trying to sell the war to the rest of us.
Like most relationships this one had to end. They would however make the same mistakes. They still longed for stupid. They wanted someone they could have a beer with or someone who can unclog their drain (careful he may not be licensed). It didn’t take long before they fell in love again. No sooner than they stopped seeing GW, the GOP fell in love again. This time with a fake hunting, job quitting (though that happened later), federal money loving (Alaska gets more fed cash per capita than any other state) killa from Wasilla, Sarah Palin. If Sarah had filled out a Match.Com profile sheet she would’ve been a good match for Republicans. She had everything except cash, which in good time, they’d make sure she’d have. Unable to recall a single newspaper or magazine she read and with foreign affairs credentials such as the ability to see Russia, Republicans again were swept off their feet.
Since then the GOP has been addicted to love. Christine O’Donnell in Delaware wants you to keep your hands to yourself and has to defend herself from her own words. Sharron Angle in Nevada wants the Dept. of Education abolished and believes in armed revolt. Rand Paul in Kentucky isn’t a big fan of the civil rights act and has called Medicare “socialism”. Don’t even get me started on Michelle Bachman in Minnesota. Now to be fair not all these would be suitors are completely stupid, but they are crazy and in the absence of Stupid, they’ll take crazy.
These folks are a continuing trend in the GOP which embraces stupid and crazy. Smart, thinking Republicans like Colin Powell or Dwight Eisenhower (hell, I’ll even give ya David Frum) are either silenced or extinct. They are silenced by vitriolic and very powerful talking heads like Beck, Rush and bobble headed regurgitators on Fox News, who only take the extreme line in a bid to drive ratings and line their pockets.
The Republicans love of stupid isn’t confined to it’s politicians and talking heads. No, they take it a step further by attacking science (think Global Warming and Evolution) and text books (think Texas School board). If science or history does not meet their world view they denounce and attack it as if there is room for debate.
This love affair with Stupid does not seem to be ebbing. The problem with this is of course is that while the GOP and Stupid are blindly steering the Love Boat, a deadly iceberg is just off the bow. Sadly we can see the iceberg but Republicans are so love drunk they can not see that their love affair with Stupid will sink this ship. While the band plays I hope I can find a life raft.