Welcome to the GOP Zone

December 27, 2010

(ChattahBox Op/Ed) – Imagine if you will (think Rod Sterling) a time in which the richest 25% of Americans own 87% of all the the wealth in the country. A world in which millions of gallons of oil is spilled into the Gulf of Mexico and yet, one political party calls for more drilling. A world where bankers are given $billions while at the same time autoworkers and the unemployed must beg for assistance. A world in which a winking woman who quit two years into a four year term as governor of a state that receives more federal dollars than it puts into the system and can’t recall a single thing she reads, is a serious contender for her party’s presidential nomination. A world so bizarre that it took a politically bent comedian to convince that same party to finally allow a vote to pay the health bills for 9/11 heroes. The very same tragedy the party has used and exploited at every opportunity for their own benefit. Seems impossible doesn’t it? Unfortunately for you and I this world exists. Welcome to the GOP Zone.We’ve been trapped, held hostage in the GOP Zone for far too long. Trapped by economic policies laid out thirty years ago by a brilliant personality but a tragically ignorant economic theoretician.  Trapped by a party who veil racism with immigration and economic policy. Held hostage by an ever increasing right wing agenda that believes in only one thing, give all the money to the wealthy for they will be benevolent masters and sprinkle the rest of us with their largess. All of their policy is based on this one simple principle. Foreign policy, Environmental policy, Immigration policy, Energy policy, all of it is based on this premise. In the GOP Zone nothing else matters.

We are entering a new phase in the GOP Zone where once crazy ideas are now discussed as if they have relevance and merit.  A new batch of Republicorpians dressed in a cloak of crazy are invading Washington and they’re bringing ideas which would seem fantastical only a few years ago.  But it’s not just the newbies bringing the crazy, no, it’s coming from the leaders as well. Let’s take a look at the world in the GOP Zone, shall we?

In the GOP Zone, we act as the ultimate defenders of the constitution  and only someone who really loves the constitution, can destroy it. Will someone please take down the Statue of Liberty or at least dress her as a Victoria’s Secrets model and put a Starbucks on the ground floor and a new plaque put in place, “keep your huddled masses, you don’t deserve to be free for you braved a deadly desert and crossed a line, if you are wretched, poor and homeless please don’t come for we are afraid of you, our lamp is dark and you’re not welcomed”. That’s right as defenders of the constitution many in the GOP would do away with the 14th amendment which guarantees those born in the US are in fact citizens of this once immigrant friendly land. How dare congress regulate the economy and spend money? Our founding fathers and a supreme court justices have it all wrong, just ask Glenn Beck and other whackajob rightwing pundits. The chorus amongst actual GOP politicians are questioning these constitutional rights as well. So what, if the constitution guarantees “equal rights”, no where in that hallowed document does it mention gay American’s. Just because some haughty activist judge rules that gay Americans are people too, does not mean they are. Change the Constitution! In the GOP Zone we’re not done “fixing” America’s guiding document, oh no, in the GOP Zone we don’t like it that average ordinary, ordinary as in not millionaires have the right to elect their senators. A growing chorus of idiot Republicorpians want to revoke the 17th amendment guaranteeing your right to elect your senators. In the GOP Zone we love the constitution so much we have to destroy it to protect it.

In the GOP Zone, we hold evident that all Corporations are created equal as long as they fill our coffers with campaign cash. We do their bidding not the peoples’. Of course when the John Roberts led Supreme Court, ruled that when it comes to free speech corporations are the same as people,  Republicorpians must feel that they are in fact doing the peoples bidding. In the GOP Zone, corporations are allowed to exploit the land at the people’s (the real people, not the corporation campaign funding people) expense. Profits are more important than air, water or health. In the GOP Zone, wars must always be supported and fomented lest Haliburton’s executives forgo multi million dollar bonus’. Education has no real importance in the GOP Zone, the call to abolish the Department of Education is a goal of many in the GOP. With the Dept. of Ed. gone, we’ll be free to teach our children that man once rode dinosaurs and the Earth is only 10k years old.

The world is a very different place in the GOP Zone. Science is mocked and scoffed at. Religion is everywhere. Not all religion mind you. Muslims are not welcome. The bible and the Ten Commandments are the rule of the day. Who cares if the bible says the penalty for a homosexuality is death? Remember according to some in the GOP homosexuals aren’t equal Americans. It doesn’t end with these points. The GOP has shifted so far to the right, they have begun bending reality. Give tax cuts to richest of Americans because in the GOP Zone, keeping the exact same tax policies we’ve had for the last ten years will create jobs and reduce the deficit. To channel my inner Mark Zuckerberg “if tax cuts created jobs and reduced the deficit, they would have created jobs and reduced the deficit”.

Americans welcome to the GOP Zone. If we are lucky this will be a short dream where we wake up and realize that none of this was real. My guess is, at least for the next two years  the nightmare of the GOP Zone will be all too real. The original “Twilight Zone” ran for 5 years. Act now, do not sit idly by and allow the GOP Zone to become reality. If we do not act, then we will be stuck in a world we do not recognize just like many of the victims in Rod Sterling’s mind bending show.


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