Gov. Sanford Compares Himself to King Of Israel, Seeks Forgiveness

June 26, 2009

(ChattahBox)—Disgraced South Carolina Governor, Mark Sanford has spent the last two days furiously cherry-picking through his bible, looking for any religious justification for his sinful behavior of adultery, lying and abandoning his family and constituents to jet off to Argentina to be in the arms of his lover. And by golly, he found it!

Gov. Sanford told his staff during a televised cabinet meeting today that he was just like King David, the biblical King of Israel and that if King David didn’t resign after committing adultery and murder, well then neither will he!

As Gov. Sanford self righteously pumped up his chest, to lend further credence to the image of a man who would be king, in all seriousness, Sanford suggested that if the King of all Jews could survive his sex scandal, well then so would he.

Gov. Sanford apparently, doesn’t possess the requisite self-awareness to realize how narcissistic and preposterous it may be to compare himself to King David.

When asked if he would resign as governor Sanford said, “I have been doing a lot of soul searching on that front. What I find interesting is the story of David, and the way in which he fell mightily; he fell in very significant ways. But then picked up the pieces and built from there.”

King David is well known for his psalms seeking forgiveness for his sins and Gov. Sanford suggested he should be afforded the same forgiveness that God offered to King David.

King David’s fall from grace involved a beautiful woman, named Bathsheba, wife of the courageous warrior, Uriah the Hittite. King David saw Bathsheba bathing from the roof of his palace, and mesmerized by her beauty, sent his minions to deliver her to his quarters. Despite being a married woman, King David had sex with Bathsheba and got her pregnant.

Seeking to cover up his lechery and the coveting of another man’s wife, he ordered Uriah back from war to sleep with his wife, so he would think the child his. But, Uriah as a loyal soldier wouldn’t leave his men to the battlefield and foiled King David’s devious plan.

King David then ordered Uriah to be abandoned on the battlefield to be murdered. King David later married Bathsheba, who bore their son Solomon.

Like Mark Sanford, King of South Carolina, King David confessed his sins and begged forgiveness.

In the bible-thumping hypocrisy that reigns supreme with conservative Republicans, King Sanford is well King of all hypocrites.

Source


Comments

9 Responses to “Gov. Sanford Compares Himself to King Of Israel, Seeks Forgiveness”

  1. Old Man Dotes on June 26th, 2009 6:16 pm

    Let God forgive his sins; Men should remember them, and put his lies and self-serving Bible-thumping at the front of their thoughts while they issue a recall vote in South Carolina.

    Sanford should move to Argentina and let Americans get on with running things here, if he’s so excited about being there that he felt the need to abandon his post for 4 days; unlike Uriah, who would not leave his men, and was then murdered for his loyalty.

  2. Mark Sanford , Maria Belen Chapur, and the Photos « Letters From … on June 27th, 2009 12:59 am

    […] Gov. Sanford Compares Himself to King Of Israel, Seeks Forgiveness … […]

  3. Governor Sanford Compares Himself To King David! Time For a Lesson … on June 27th, 2009 1:27 am

    […] Gov. Sanford Compares Himself to King Of Israel, Seeks Forgiveness … […]

  4. Mark Sanford Wants Me To Join Him… | Truhst on June 27th, 2009 4:26 am

    […] Gov. Sanford Compares Himself to King Of Israel, Seeks Forgiveness … […]

  5. The “Glorious” Emails of Gov. Mark Sanford « Three Point One Four on June 27th, 2009 5:02 am

    […] Gov. Sanford Compares Himself to King Of Israel, Seeks Forgiveness … […]

  6. Asylum Puts Some Truth in Advertising on Governor Mark Sanford … on June 27th, 2009 6:04 am

    […] Gov. Sanford Compares Himself to King Of Israel, Seeks Forgiveness … […]

  7. CalState on June 27th, 2009 9:05 am

    This is too funny! I would note a few points in his favor, however:
    1. Although adultery was a capital offense under the law of Moses, David didn’t get the axe.
    2. Niether God nor the Prophet Nathan told David to leave Bathsheba or resign.
    3. David & Bathsheba were the proud parents of Solomon, the wise one.
    4. Jesus was a direct descendant of David and Bathsheba (see the geneology in the Gospewl of Matthew).

    Apparently, rank had its privileges in Israel.

  8. An Ego of Biblical Proportions « HYSTERICAL RAISINS on June 27th, 2009 8:04 pm

    […] Ego of Biblical Proportions Jump to Comments (ChattahBox)—Disgraced South Carolina Governor, Mark Sanford has spent the last two days furiously […]

  9. Fox News’ Hume: Tiger Woods Should Find Jesus to be ‘Great Example to the World’ | ChattahBox News Blog on January 4th, 2010 8:52 am

    […] Sanford claimed that he should be forgiven for his transgressions and he compared himself to King David, the biblical King of Israel. Unfortunately, his wife Jenny Sanford wasn’t so forgiving and she intends to file for […]

Got something to say? **Please Note** - Comments may be edited for clarity or obscenity, and all comments are published at the discretion of ChattahBox.com - Comments are the opinions of the individuals leaving them, and not of ChattahBox.com or its partners. - Please do not spam or submit comments that use copyright materials, hearsay or are based on reports where the supposed fact or quote is not a matter of public knowledge are also not permitted.