Bachmann: Crazy Glenn Beck and His Chalkboard Will Save the World

February 22, 2011

(ChattahBox Political News)—Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN), everyone’s favorite crazy-eyed tea party queen, is off during her congressional hiatus spewing a lot of crazy talk that’s garnering her media attention for all the wrong reasons. What pearls of wisdom did Bachmann impart to the country and the world? The right-wing lawmaker, who once called for a McCarthyism type investigation of the un-American beliefs of Democratic members of Congress, has a solution to our country’s economic and societal problems, she describes as “bubbles,” caused by President Obama’s “reign of terror.” What is the solution? The deranged Glenn Beck and his chalkboard filled with kooky New World Order, apocalyptic conspiracy theories. Bachmann, declared “…that man can explain anything.” In reality, you have to be smoking the same stuff as Beck to make any sense of his wild fearmongering about the impending dangerous Communist, Marxist Muslim Caliphate that will end the world as we know it.

The unhinged Bachmann delivered her over-the-top rhetoric to a group of Republicans in Spartanburg, South Carolina. In Bachmann’s scary worldview, Federal Pell Grants for low-income students, gay rights, and Social Security are all dangerous government “bubbles” that will destroy America and turn us into Greece. The “blood-sucking tax code,” Bachmann called a “a weapon of mass destruction,” is also very bad because rich people have to pay taxes.

The Minnesota Independent reports on Bachmann’s bubbles analogy.“We are looking at a time of bubbles,” Bachmann said, referring to the housing and tech bubbles. She said that Americans are witnessing a “government bubble.”

But have no fear, Fox News’ conspiracy-theorist-in-chief Glenn Beck, will solve all of our problems before the bubbles burst, Bachmann told the crowd, as long as Beck is given the numbers to crunch on his blackboard.

“We need to simply tell people the facts, like Glenn Beck, with that chalkboard, that man can explain anything. I think if we give Glenn Beck the numbers, he can solve this,” said Bachmann.

In between sprouting her bizarre worldview, with the crazy self-described rodeo clown Glenn Beck cast as our savior, Bachmann slammed Obama in a series of ludicrous GOP talking point word salads.

Obama apparently spends his days “babying jihadists.”

“Our Peace Prize-winning president is very busy bowing these days to kings,” she said. “He is bending down to dictators, and he is brown-nosing the elites that are in Europe, and he’s babying the jihadists who are following Sharia-compliant terrorism.”

She continued, “He is callow and confused and inconsistent in his response to the Egyptian crisis and to the terrorist threats.”

“He’s accomplishing something no one thought was possible; he’s making Jimmy Carter look like a Rambo tough guy.”

If Bachmann has a speech writer, he or she should be fired.

Meanwhile, Bachmann is searching for her “inner assurance” through prayer to decide if she will toss her hat into the 2012 presidential ring.


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