High as Kites Wallabies Dance in Poppy Fields

June 25, 2009

(ChattahBox)– The Australian island state of Tasmania is known for its Tasmanian devils and now for stoned out Wallabies who have taken a liking to ingesting the nation’s vast poppy fields. The cute macropods, cousins to kangaroos, are making a spectacle of themselves stoned on opiates, before Noon even.

The problem of the druggie Wallabies was discovered by the psychedelic “crop circles” left behind in the fields after one of their all night bacchanal gatherings, involving drugs, sex and wild circular gyrations.

After the layabout Wallabies eat the poppy heads off the flowers, they become stoned out of their minds very quickly, and hop in circles stomping down the crops.

The out of control macropods turn the well-groomed poppy fields into their own personal opium dens.

The field hands have to deal with the aftermath of the Wallabies’ drunken orgies the next morning, cleaning up their partying litter, cigarette butts, empty bags of nacho chips and the odd stoned Wallaby who was left behind by his buddies to sleep it off in the fields.

Attorney-General Lara Giddings is on the case and looking to make her chops with a big bust of the drugged out slackers. After performing their stoned circle dance in the fields, “Then they crash. We see crop circles in the poppy industry from wallabies that are high,” said Giddings.

Giddings was briefing a group on poppy security, when the issue of the stoned Wallabies was brought up.

Deer and sheep have also been known to partake of a taste of the poppy, but the Wallabies are known as the worst offenders.

Tasmania is the world’s largest producer of legally grown opium, supplying about 50 percent of the world’s raw material for morphine and other opiates.



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