Russia Introduces The Most Ridiculous ‘Luxury’ SUV Ever

October 14, 2009

Russia (ChattahBox) – Are you looking for a car that not only pushes the bounds of taste, but flips right over them, piles through the wall of fantasy, and lands in a land of such extreme pretentiousness that it hurts the eyes to look directly at it? The Russians have you covered.

The Dartz Prombron Monaco Red Diamond Edition has been announced, a $1.5 million dollar sports utility vehicle that has features so extreme, all I can do is quote a source to give you a real picture:

“1. Ruby Red matte paint
2. Gold-plated bulletproof windows
3. 22” Kremlin Red Star bulletproof wheels
4. Whale Penis Leather interior
5. Tungsten exhaust
6. Tungsten and white gold gauges with diamonds and rubies
7. White gold diamond and ruby encrusted badges – grill, side and dashboard
8. Special edition Vertu mobile phone with “alert” button
9. Additional outside kevlar coating
10. Rogue Acoustic Audio System.

And, of course, of course –
THREE BOTTLES OF World Most Expensive Vodka – RussoBaltique Vodka, drink edition, same as in the RussoBaltique car when it visited Monaco at 1912.”

That’s right. Not only will you be driving in style in a comfortable chair made of genuine mammal foreskin, but you will be able to do it drunk on the expensive vodka that comes with the car, and drive through a military zone without fear.

I wish I hadn’t been eating fishsticks when I first found out about the whale penis leather interior.



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