S.C. Governor Says God Will Make Him A More Effective Leader

July 19, 2009

South Carolina (ChattahBox) – Mark Sanford, the governor who was caught having an affair with an Argentinian woman after disappearing for a week last month, has said that God will ‘make him better’.

“While none of us has the chance to attend our own funeral, in many ways I feel like I was at my own in the past weeks, and surprisingly I am thankful for the perspective it has afforded,” he was quoted by The Associated Press.

“It’s in the spirit of making good from bad that I am committing to you and the larger family of South Carolinians to use this experience to both trust God in his larger work of changing me, and from my end, to work to becoming a better and more effective leader.”

Sanford has been having an affair with his Argentinian friend for a number of years, and he claims that she is his ‘soulmate’. Despite this, he and his wife have left the state together, and are staying at an undisclosed location.

Sanford has said that he wishes to work things out with his wife, for the sake of their four sons.


4 Responses to “S.C. Governor Says God Will Make Him A More Effective Leader”

  1. Alex on July 19th, 2009 11:11 am

    What a self-important jerk. Just go away, Mark. You had an affair and you got caught. You’re not King David and I feel sorry for your wife, and your four sons.

  2. Carole Clarke on July 19th, 2009 12:43 pm

    Strange how he waited until he got caught with his hand in the…ahh…cookie jar to try God. God has been there the whole time, why didn’t he call on him when he was first tempted? Because he wanted to have his fun first, then use God as a get-out-of-jail-free card. He doesn’t realize how terribly obvious his ploys are! He needs to get his head handed to him, one way or another – such men only listen and understand when it really hurts. His wife seems to know that and is probably (we hope) preparing to skin him alive!

  3. keith on July 19th, 2009 2:24 pm

    God told him to be a liar
    God told him to abandon his family so he can cheat with another woman.
    God told him to abandon the people in south carolina so he can be with his mistress.
    God told him to be a hypocrite.
    God told him to be a republican.

  4. Peg on July 20th, 2009 6:47 pm


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