Rep. Massa and ‘Fracking,’ ‘Salty Language,’ ‘Devil’s Spawn’ and Crazy Conspiracy Theories

March 8, 2010

(ChattahBox)—Retiring Freshman Democratic Congressman Rep. Eric Massa of New York, officially exited the land of weirdness into the realm of the truly bizarre over the weekend, when he let loose with a lengthy and accusatory rant against members of his own Party, during his weekly radio show on New York station WKPQ. Massa, a 20-year Navy veteran and a self-described “direct, salty guy,” who is retiring from Congress effective Monday, due to his battle with cancer and an ethics complaint that he sexually harassed a male staffer, charged that House Democrats, including Majority Leader Steny Hoyer (D-MD), conspired to railroad him out of office before his term expired, because he intended to vote no on healthcare reform. Massa’s, at times incoherent and emotional rant, accused Rep. Hoyer of lying and he said that on a previous occasion, White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel directed salty swears at him, during a telephone call. And Massa, the salty sailor, boasted that he gave it right back to Emmanuel, with obscene descriptions of “physically impossible” acts. Massa also took direct aim at Emmanuel, saying he is “son of the devil’s spawn.”

Massa surprised many politicos last Wednesday, when he announced his retirement at the end of his first term due to a recurrence of non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma. But reports about a possible sexual harassment complaint dogged his announcement, which he blamed on bloggers. Massa dismissed the sexual harassment charges, claiming that he was only guilty of using “salty language” with his staff. But on Friday, Massa unexpectedly announced with a posting on his official Web site, that he was retiring effective Monday, “with a profound sense of failure and a deep apology.”

But apparently he woke on Sunday morning with an epiphany, and he was able to “connect the dots” of the House Democratic conspiracy to get rid of him in order to pass healthcare reform:

Massa said, “Mine is now the deciding vote on the health care bill and this administration and this House leadership have said, quote-unquote, they will stop at nothing to pass this health care bill, and now they’ve gotten rid of me and it will pass. You connect the dots.

Massa also explained the details of the sexual harassment complaint, which he attributed to— you guessed it—ribald drunken saltiness at a staffer’s wedding on New Year’s after he danced with a bridesmaid:

“I sat down at the table where my whole staff was, all of them by the way bachelors.”

“One of them looked at me and as they would do after, I don’t know, 15 gin and tonics, and goodness only knows how many bottles of champagne, a staff member made an intonation to me that maybe I should be chasing after the bridesmaid and his points were clear and his words were far more colorful than that,” Massa said. “And I grabbed the staff member sitting next to me and said, ‘Well, what I really ought to be doing is fracking you.’ And then [I] tossled the guy’s hair and left, went to my room, because I knew the party was getting to a point where it wasn’t right for me to be there. Now was that inappropriate of me? Absolutely. Am I guilty? Yes.”

Massa then alleged that the actual male staffer who he was salty with, did not complain and that the whole ethics investigation against him stems from “political correctness” gone amok. “It was a third-party political correctness statement,” Massa said. Apparently another staffer sitting at the table, who has been identified, as Massa’s former deputy chief of staff, Ron Hikel, did not take kindly to the “fracking” comment and filed a complaint against his former boss.

Massa then described his salty telephone swear fest with Rahm Emmanuel, as well as a naked encounter in the congressional showers:

“When I voted against the cap and trade bill, the phone rang and it was the chief of staff to the president of the United States of America, Rahm Emanuel, and he started swearing at me in terms and words that I hadn’t heard since that crossing the line ceremony on the USS New Jersey in 1983,” Massa said. “And I gave it right back to him, in terms and words that I know are physically impossible. I told him to do things that the human anatomy cannot do.”

“Rahm Emanuel is son of the devil’s spawn, Rep. Eric Massa (D-NY) said. “He is an individual who would sell his mother to get a vote. He would strap his children to the front end of a steam locomotive…I am showering, naked as a jaybird, and here comes Rahm Emanuel, not even with a towel wrapped around his tush, poking his finger in my chest, yelling at me.”

And Massa was not finished yet—–Oh no. According to the account by Talking Points Memo, Massa also addressed previous allegations of improper saltiness involving males, while he was in the navy and other misadventures:

Massa spoke of “walking in on his Navy bunkmate masturbating back in the early 1980s and how that led to a misunderstanding and the bunkmate requesting different quarters. And then somewhat above and beyond the call of duty descriptions of best practices for sharing a bed with a staffer when you’re on the road and the hotel room only has one bed. (One sleeps under the covers, one over.)”

And to top off his radio rant, Massa accused Steny Hoyer of outright lying about notifying him of the impending ethics investigation. On Wednesday, Hoyer’s office released a statement, saying that Massa’s staff informed him of the complaint in February. And that Hoyer pressured Massa to report the complaint within 48 hours, or Hoyer threatened to do so himself.

“Steny Hoyer has never said a single word to me, at all, ever, not once. Not a word. This is a lie. It’s a blatant, false statement,” Massa said.

Massa claims that he knew nothing of the sexual harassment complaint, until he read about it on blogs and that he believes that the ethics investigation involved a fundraising issue. “There was another ethics violation, because someone released a letter under my name for fundraising,” he said.

Massa suggested that the sexual harassment complaint was orchestrated by House Democrats to remove him from his seat, before the vote on healthcare reform.

Hyer’s spokeswoman Katie Grant denied Massa’s allegations, saying “That’s completely false. There is zero merit to that accusation.”

Whatever the case, Massa’s salty confessions and allegations sure are bizarre. Massa ended his radio interview by pledging to take his conspiracy theories of a major House leadership setup to Fox News.

And Glenn Beck, Fox News’ conspiracy theorist-in-chief, has obliged Massa. Beck tweeted that Massa will be taking his conspiracy theories to his show on Tuesday: “Tomorrow at five: congressman Massa for the full hour. I just spoke with him off air. All Americans need To hear him. Exclusive 2morrow fox.”



One Response to “Rep. Massa and ‘Fracking,’ ‘Salty Language,’ ‘Devil’s Spawn’ and Crazy Conspiracy Theories”

  1. Efresh on March 8th, 2010 5:08 pm

    This is so sad. The world needs to clean up its acts.

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