Sinner Ensign Finally Decides ‘To Put My Family First’

March 7, 2011

(ChattahBox Politics News)—With no support and no money for a reelection campaign, disgraced, hypocritical family values lawmaker Sen. John Ensign (R-NV) finally put his family above his own needs, or so he claims. Ensign, who is facing a senate ethics investigation, stemming from a sleazy affair with the wife of his best friend, both of whom worked for Ensign, announced today he was retiring from office at the end of his current term. Flanked by his wife and children, the former C-Street House resident acknowledged “that there are consequences to sin,” adding it was time “to put my family first.” Of course, Ensign’s newfound concern for his family neatly dovetails with the political reality that he couldn’t get elected as dog catcher at this point.

Ensign, referring to his affair with Cynthia Hampton, the wife of his former best friend and aide Doug Hampton, read from a prepared statement.

“I have learned through the mistakes I have made that there are consequences to sin. I made a mistake. I owed up to the mistake. It was the biggest mistake of my life that I”ll regret for the rest of my life.”

Ensign regretted his actions so much, that he had his parents pay off the Hamptons with $96,000 after the affair became public and they stopped working for Ensign. Ensign also secured Doug Hamptom a job as a lobbyist, helping him obtain clients by using his influence, a possible violation of ethics laws. Investigations into Ensign’s shenanigans by the Department of Justice and the FEC were recently dropped with no charges, but Ensign still faces the senate ethics panel probe.

Ensign said he was retiring from office to protect his family from an “exceptionally ugly” reelection campaign, adding “At this point in my life, I have to put my family first.”

What a guy.


One Response to “Sinner Ensign Finally Decides ‘To Put My Family First’”

  1. Montana on March 7th, 2011 11:20 pm

    The Democrats don’t get on their soap box and claim the high religious ground that the Republicans always do, thats one of the major differences between them.

    This was a long time in coming, goodbye “hush money” Senator John Ensign (R-NV), don’t let the door hit you. The party of “Family Values” my ass, more like the “Party of hypocrites”. Poor Christopher Lee, at least he resigned! What about the “diaper boy” and big mouth Senator David Vitter (R-LA)! Too Funny!

    Make room for more of the Arrogance, race-baiting, crazy talking Sharron Angle, who else can Nevada elect?

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