Gay Sex Spreads Swine Flu by ‘Friction Heat,’ Says Malaysian Media

August 12, 2009

(ChattahBox)—The Maalaysian National News Agency published some recommended preventative measures on Sunday, that the country’s citizens should use to prevent the spread of the H1N1 or the swine flu virus, as the worldwide pandemic is expected to strengthen in the fall. The very first recommendation advises people to stop engaging in gay sex and masturbation, but notes that “normal” sex is “safe.”

You would think that customary precautions, like frequent hand washing, or staying home when sick, would have made the top of the list of Malaysian tips to avoid becoming sick with swine flu, but think again.

Dr. V. M. Palaniappan, who is referred to as “an eminent practitioner of complimentary therapy,” believes that homosexual activities and masturbation cause people to develop “friction heat”, which in turn makes the body “hyperacidised” and susceptible to catching swine flu.

“Thus, the body becomes an easy target for H1N1 infection,” said Dr. Palaniappan, but reassured people that normal sexual activity between a man and a woman was safe. Apparently heterosexual activity doesn’t produce that dreaded “friction heat.”

Gay sex and masturbation cause “high acidity in the body resulting in loss of immunity, thus making people more susceptible to viral diseases” like swine flu, claims Dr. Palaniappan.

He recommends that in addition to avoiding gay sex, masturbation, late nights and excessive exercise, that people drink an alkaline beverage like coconut water to prevent catching swine flu.

Source


Comments

2 Responses to “Gay Sex Spreads Swine Flu by ‘Friction Heat,’ Says Malaysian Media”

  1. Old Man Dotes on August 13th, 2009 9:55 am

    Oh gods. Could we please just release the 100%-fatal-to-stupid-people viruses now and eliminate 97% of the planet’s humans? Please. I am begging.

  2. Big Gay News » Malaysian Media Says Gay Sex Spreads Swine Flu on August 14th, 2009 12:48 pm

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