Somali Pirates Released At Sea Are Probably Dead, Russia Admits

May 12, 2010

Russia (ChattahBox) – Russian officials have said that a group of Somali pirates who were said to have been captured during a raid on a hijacked oil tanker have likely died after being released at sea.

The ridiculous explanation as to the fate of the pirates has already raised a number of eyebrows globally, though the Russia government is refusing to do a full investigation into the matter.

According to officials, the military swarmed the ship and captured eight pirates without any incident or injury. Then, stating that they had no legal ability to hold them (despite them having illegally hijacked the Moscow University in a pirate attack), they just let them go, taking away all weapons and navigation equipment and dropping them off 300 miles from shore.

So, the story is that they caught them, then decided they would drop them in the middle of the ocean not thinking that they would actually die at sea without navigation equipment.

It is probably one of the more laughable attempts at explanations from Russia in awhile.

“I think this is linked to the fact nobody released the pirates and they were killed in the operation. Then someone had the not very intelligent idea ‘let’s pretend that they were released in the middle of the ocean hundreds of miles from the shore without any navigational aids’,” Maritime Bulletin editor Mikhail Voitenko said, pointing out what we are probably all thinking.

You may remember Mikhail Voitenko from the last high profile Russia high-seas case. He fled the country last year after being threatened by “serious people” following comments he made about a cargo ship that was believed to have been holding a secret cargo headed to Iran last year.

Look, maybe this really did happen. Maybe it is exactly the way officials said.

But if that is the case, you still have to wonder why President Dmitry Medvedev is ordering medals for the men involved in the raid, given the fact that that solution is a veritable freak show of lacking common sense. Who thinks, “Well, we have these pirates…let’s send them off into the middle of the ocean!”?

I think we all know what the more likely scenarios are here.



5 Responses to “Somali Pirates Released At Sea Are Probably Dead, Russia Admits”

  1. GeorgeH on May 12th, 2010 12:20 pm

    – So, the story is that they caught them, then decided they would drop them in the middle of the ocean not thinking that they would actually die at sea without navigation equipment. –

    Er, I rather suspect that the Russians *were* in fact thinking that the pirates would actually die at sea without navigation equipment and, more importantly, their radio with which to call for the mother ship that originally brought them out there…

  2. olivia on May 12th, 2010 12:26 pm

    George – The sarcastic tone of the statement was implied, but I guess I didn’t imply it heavily enough. Some further editing may be in order…My point was that the story is obviously bogus. If they truly did release them, which I doubt very much happened, I am sure they meant for them to die.

  3. Ven on May 12th, 2010 2:40 pm

    Russia’s current criminal laws have no anti-piracy articles. Charging the captured pirates under some other article and putting them on trial in Moscow would make it too easy for any half-competent defense attorney to get the off the hook. Russia acted in accordance with the most recent international anti-piracy agreement it signed – some time during Alexander II’s rule – that is to release the pirates who’s nationality cannot be established in such a way that they cannot reach land. An execution of sorts, but not really.

  4. Old Man Dotes on May 12th, 2010 4:35 pm

    So the pirates are “probably” dead. Good. It would be better if they were positively, undeniably, and reliably dead.

  5. Markable on May 19th, 2010 2:29 am

    Now THAT is how to deal with the pirate problem, and any other meddlesome, troublesome little puny country.

    Good job, Russkies.

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